Ear We Go
‘IT is good to see that when the papers talk about schools, they do so in the language of the playground.
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| ‘Kids these days think they have to work for their degree!’ |
Following Prince Charles’s comments about teaching, Education Secretary Charles Clarke has responded in the Mirror by calling the prince ‘very old-fashioned and out-of-time’.
Chances are that the heir to the throne will take such words as a compliment.
But before he dashes off a letter of thanks, the Mail is of the opinion that they symbolise a Labour-led ‘WAR ON CHARLES’.
If so, the Labour Party has chosen its champion well, since, as the Mirror notes, Clarke’s ears are every bit as up for it as his opponent’s.
This leads to the headline: ‘You’re so wrong, Big Ears – SAYS BIG EARS.’ And for the Sun to conjure up the legend: ‘LUGS OF WAR.’
In case you didn’t hear these witty asides the first two times around, the Sun adds: ‘EARS TO YOU, CHARLES – AND EARS TO YOU [CLARKE], TOO!’
But if the Cavalier and the Roundhead are going to fight, they should get on with it – carpe diem, as it were, since we are all about to die.
Well, not all of us, just pupils at St Matthew’s Roman Catholic High School in Moston, Manchester.
There, as the Sun reports, a teacher used her address to the 240 students at morning assembly to say they could all go home early to say their ‘FINAL FAREWELLS’ to their parents.
In ten days’ time, she said, a meteor will smash into Earth, and, specifically, St Matthew’s, destroying everyone and everything in its path.
But after much hysteria and sobbing, the teacher’s headmaster now says it was all ‘an unfortunate set of circumstances’ and the meteor will not arriving.
In fact, it never was on a collision course with Manchester, and was less meteor than metaphor, one used by the teacher to illustrate that we should all make the most of the time we have.
So come on, Clarkey and Windsor, get on with it. If you’re going to fight, let’s rumble. And the rules are simple – first one to box the other’s ears…’
Posted: 19th, November 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
