Anorak

Anorak | Banned Of Brothers

Banned Of Brothers

by | 24th, November 2004

‘IF anyone cares the smallest jot about the England cricket team’s tour of Zimbabwe, then they might have a long wait for news of the results of the five one-day matches.

‘At tea, the white farmers are all out with no chance of a recovery’

Robert Mugabe appears intent on banning all British journalists from the country he has systematically transformed from an African bread-basket to an African basket-case.

And the papers wear their bans like badges of honour this morning.

“Monster Mugabe Bans The Sun,” says Britain’s leading tabloid, adding that the dictator “will not let us in because we have told the truth about his monstrous regime”.

“Mirror Ban Throws England Tour In Chaos,” boasts its main rival, admitting however that the tour is likely to go ahead in its absence.

“Banned!” shrieks the Daily Mail, somewhat embarrassed one imagines to find that its name is not on the list of papers non grata.

Nor are the Express or Star on the banned list – although, as the Star has never knowingly devoted more than a couple of paragraphs to the game, we don’t suppose its readers would notice if it had been.

The Star instead leads this morning (as it leads every morning) with football and Ruud Van Nistelrooy’s goal which gave Manchester United a 2-1 Champions’ League victory over Lyon.

The Dutchman kept up his amazing record in Europe to help Alex Ferguson celebrate his 1,000th game in charge at Old Trafford and to atone for a terrible goalkeeping lapse from Roy Carroll.

“The man did it again – he is unbelievable,” he said of Van Nistelrooy’s 42nd European goal.

“Ruud scored with his only real opportunity. He took it really well – in just the kind of way you would expect him to.”

Only Raul stands ahead of Van Nistelrooy in the goalscoring table and the Real Madrid striker added to his tally last night.

But the Spaniards’ 1-1 draw with Bayer Leverkusen means they must win their last match in Rome to qualify for the next round.

However, the Star says a section of the Bernabeu disgraced themselves again, making monkey noises at the Germans’ Brazilian defender Juan.

However, there was no rescue for Liverpool who were defeated by a ‘hand of god’ goal similar to the one scored by Diego Maradona in 1986.

The Mail says the hand-ball could “hardly have been more blatant” as Javier Saviola controlled the ball with his hand in full view of referee Claus Bo Larsen and his linesman before scoring Monaco’s winner.

Bizarrely, neither gave a foul – and Liverpool are left needing to beat Olympiakos in their last match to have a chance of progressing.

How Jensen must wish this morning he was officiating in Zimbabwe instead – at least there would be no-one to witness his mistakes out there…’



Posted: 24th, November 2004 | In: Back pages Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink