Snow Joke

‘AS “catastrophes” go, the one the Mirror says has befallen Arsenal in recent times is not of seismic proportions.

‘Let’s give him the bumps…’

Loosing a game 2-1 to a pot shot in the dying seconds from Liverpool’s prosaic Neil Mellor is one of those chance things in football that make the game so captivating.

That, and the paper’s accompanying story in which Newcastle’s Graeme Souness complains long and bitterly about how the referee “robbed” his team of a penalty in their 1-1 draw with Everton, complete a brace of stories that could come about any week in any season.

More unusual is the story in the Mail of Spurs’ 2-0 win at the weekend win over Middlesbrough. Sure, a victory for the north London side is a rarity, but it is the behaviour of Tottenham’s Jermain Defoe that catches the eye.

In scoring Spurs’ opening goal, the England striker did as footballers are told not to and removed his shirt in celebration, so securing himself a yellow card.

Signs of idiocy in a footballer – the inability to adhere to the most simple of rules – are nothing new (Defoe was booked for the same offence earlier in the season).

What is less normal is that the message Defoe was keen to display on his under–shirt said: “Happy Birthday, Baby.”

This was a message to his lover, the delightful Jade, who was then treated to a kiss from her man.

Just like Darren Day, we are incurable romantics here at Anorak Towers and have no little sympathy with a footballer who bucks the footballers’ trend for random spit-roastings and gang bangs in favour of love.

But stupid is as stupid does, and it’s over to the Sun where there’s news of Rio Ferdinand.

The theme of this year’s Manchester United Christmas party is to be The Night It Snowed In Rio, featuring a winter wonderland with a Brazilian beach feel.

This is an odd mix. But “insiders” says it’s not a politicised comment on global warming but a light-hearted dig at Ferdinand, who famously missed a routine drugs test and received an eight-month ban.

“In some circles ‘snow’ is a nickname for cocaine,” says another “insider” at the club, “and, although there is absolutely no suggestion Rio has ever had anything to do with drugs [perish the thought], it is meant as a joke and we think he will see the funny side.”

As do we. A cosseted footballer who brings shame to his sport gets a cocaine-themed party thrown in his honour by the club that tried to explain things away.

You have to laugh – lest you cry…’

Posted: 29th, November 2004 | In: Back pages Comment | TrackBack | Permalink