Too Much Exposure
‘DISMISS those ideas of doing it for charity, the experience or the fun, the only reason celebrities go into the jungle is to get on the telly.
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| Even Medusa couldn’t get men hard as quickly as Janet |
And don’t even suggest that Janet Street-Porter is any different to the norm, entering the jungle clearing in some ironic way – she is there to be on the telly just as much as the next self-important celeb.
They all want exposure, and today we get to see just how far Nancy Sorrell, a women destined to be known for eternity as Vic Reeves’ former lap-dancer wife (or former lap-dancer and former wife), will go to expose herself.
On the Star’s cover, Nancy wears a red knickers and bra twin-set – and, for anyone in any doubt as to their purpose, there’s an accompanying headline that reads: ‘NANCY – I’m gonna give Jim the best sex of his life.’
For those of you not in the know, Jim is Jim Moir, otherwise know as Vic Reeves – which means that Nancy can also be known as Jim Moir’s former lap-dancer wife.
But while Nancy goes on to swap the red underwear for a brown, flowered saucy twin-set in the Sun, Street-Porter is doing some exposing of her own.
Before that, though, let’s look at the letter the Star says the journalist received from her boyfriend Peter. In it, he writes: ‘You look like the only real grown-up.’
These writers are so clever and these words may need some decoding.
To our mind, Peter means to say that his lover looks older than all the others. She also looks as though she’s on the point of throwing up her teeth.
What Street-Porter doesn’t look like – especially alongside the bikini-clad Sophie Anderton and the near-naked former lap-dancer – is a porn star.
But over in the Sun, readers hear Street-Porter confess to having appeared in a 1960s blue movie.
However, before you dry wretch or trawl the shelves for a copy of Confessions Of A Dentist, the 57-year-old lets it be known that in this movie, she did not strip, had only a minor part (fnar, fnar) but did look ‘very sexy’.
And like she was about to throw up her teeth…’
Posted: 1st, December 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
