SPENCER For Hire

‘FROM Janet, Nancy and Sophie it’s a short prancing leap to SPENCER.

Nothing a cup of tea won’t sort out

Just like those jungle liggers, there’s no need to introduce SPENCER any further, at least not for the Star’s readers who learn that ”SPENCER QUITS”.

Moreover, the Sun’s learned millions hear on the paper’s esteemed Page 3 the news, ”Spencer Sacked”.

But while SPENCER’S legions of fans throw back their heads and cry ”Nooooo” to a merciless God, we’ll take the chance to tell you less-knowing types that SPENCER is SPENCER Moon, a character in the fly-on-the-wall documentary EastEnders.

SPENCER’S also known in the Star as ”troubled” Chris Parker – or CHRIS, as he’s know to millions.

At just 21 years old, SPENCER/CHRIS is, as the story says he is, ”burnt out”, and has left the show by mutual consent.

But the Sun is of the opinion that SPENCER has been ”SACKED” after refusing to see the show’s psychologist, Pauline Fowler or PAULINE.

But while SPENCER licks his wounds – which are said to have been caused by an attempted suicide bid – he might like to turn around.

SPENCER would then notice that he’s in good company, or a good troop, as such a gathering is known in acting circles.

As he knocks on doors looking for work, SPENCER can do so with other ”stars” who have been given the chop by the EastEnders’ producer Kathleen Hutchinson.

Although she’s only been in the job for two months, the Sun says that the woman has already offed Dirty Den, the six Ferreiras and gansta Andy Hunter.

To the best of our knowledge, that amounts to nine players, which leaves one more person be cut off at the knees by ”Hatchet” Hutchinson.

Which could spell danger for CHANTELLE, otherwise known as the show’s last remaining VIEWER…’

Posted: 1st, December 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink