Clamping Down
‘YOUD think that the one qualification vital to anyone wanting to be wheel clamper was to have been born a complete and utter bastard.
| German clampers pictured in 1939 |
But there is more. As the Telegraph says, you will soon need a vocational qualification in the job you were born to do.
Edexcel, the exam board, are running the soon-to-be-compulsory course in wheel-clamping for anyone seeking a career in vehicle immobilisation.
Known as he Level 2 BTEC Award in Vehicle Immobilisation, the course will require wannabe clampers to undergo 30 hours of guided learning at a price of £500.
Of this, 15 hours will be dedicated to the techniques of wheel clamping (double park lorry; fix clamp to wheel; lock clamp; drive away laughing), and 15 hours to communications and conflict management (more laughing).
Graduates will then be given a piece of paper which will certify in black ink that they are the scum of the Earth and therefore suited to a career in clamping.
They will then be sent to bring order to the streets of Iraq, Afghanistan and anywhere else where drivers flout the parking rules and carry firearms…’
Posted: 8th, December 2004 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
