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Anorak | Christmas Crackers

Christmas Crackers

by | 17th, December 2004

‘DESPITE employing some of the world’s foremost investigators, we have yet to unearth the identities of what the Express calls ‘the PC brigade’.

A tinsel noose around the neck

The shadowy brigadier who leads this band of right-on thinkers remains at large. And today we bring news that he has been issuing some shocking new directives to his troops.

First we read in the Express that the new crib at St Martin-in-the-Field church, Trafalgar Square, features not the usual scene of David Beckham and Posh cradling a bay-bee in a barn full of randy pigs and squealing PAs, but a nativity scene ‘representing the world’s ethnic groups’.

The work by Japanese sculptor Tomoaki Suzuki includes Mary, her cuckolded husband Joseph, no fewer than three kings, a donkey and a goat – and ’12 painted limewood carvings to represent the world’s Middle Eastern, Caucasian, African and Asian groups. Which stands before a floating angel’.

The result is ‘outrage’ in some quarters – which seem to consist only of former Shadow Home Secretary and professional shocked citizen Ann Widdecombe, who calls it ‘another victory for political correctness’.

But there is more. And in the same paper we read with horror that the brigadier has banned pupils at Chipping Sodbury School, Gloucestershire, from wearing tinsel on a Christmas non-uniform day.

Headteacher Philip Lidstone tells the pupils in his newsletter: ‘For health and safety reasons, students are not allowed to wear tinsel.’

Why they can wear ties and not tinsel causes one parent to compare the school to the Grinch, the ogre who stole Christmas.

And this is just the tip of a chilly iceberg as the Mail reports on how a quarter of schools will not be holding a carol service this year.

This has less to do with the lack of churches – which, owing to their transubstantiation into bars and the rules on underage drinking, have made them hard to find – and more to do with a ‘move to embrace political correctness’.

So, once again the brigadier and his unmerry men and women have won the day. It’s time to act, to catch these nefarious forces before it is too late…’



Posted: 17th, December 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink