Bin And Gone

‘IF you didn’t give your dustman a Christmas box, then more fool you.

”Ashes to ashes, dust to dustcart”

Indeed, from now on, especially if you live in some of the more remote areas of the south Pennines, remember to do as the refuse collection engineer asks.

Ensure that your waste is wrapped, preferably in a branded cashmere sack sprayed with a generous shot of perfume or eau de toilette.

Ensure that the bin lid is placed firmly shut, that it contains only household rubbish and has been wheeled to the correct place as detailed by your local Staffordshire Moorland district council.

Better yet, when the dust cart approaches, give the driver a cup of piping hot tea, a couple of biscuits and then lift the dustbin onto your shoulders and deposit your rubbish into the truck.

And don’t worry if you are sick, frail or stressed out, because, as the Guardian reports, these dustman are trained in the latest resuscitation techniques.

As well as equipping the cart with bin-liners, an old teddy tied to the front grill and a picture of a topless stunna in the cabin, these dustmen carry defibrillators.

The council’s deputy leader, Linda Maylon, explains: “Every second counts in an emergency” – so, when you have a heart attack, it’s good to know that your dustman is trained to deal with it.

And if you die, he also knows how to dispose of the body in the approved fashion…’

Posted: 14th, January 2005 | In: Uncategorized Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink