Doing The Splits

‘JUST as it’s almost impossible to avoid Beyonce’s backside, there can be getting round the news of the year so far: Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt are no more.

”But I get to keep Angelina, right?”

As anyone with any breath in their bodies knows, the couple that once had it all now no longer have each other.

But what else will they not have?

It’s a question the Enquirer seeks to answer as it considers the facts and asks ”Who Gets What?” in the divorce.

First up is the marital home, a sprawling mansion of swimming pool, roof tiles and stairs, all redesigned by Brad.

Other things to split are more simple. Brad will get the dog, Norman, a corgi-terrier.

Jen will do somewhat better than that and get to keep the $200,000 Damiani engagement ring he gave her.

As for the friends, Brad will get to keep George Clooney. And Jen will retain Matt LeBlanc.

Which, given the merits of the two actors, should mean that to even things out, Jen also get the aforesaid house, their Plan B film production company, all their cars, Brad’s hair and the right to his first born.

Oh, and he gets the Celine Dion CD and DVD collection and all the paper pants he can carry…’

Posted: 25th, January 2005 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink