The Bottom Line

‘YOU don’t have to be a rumpologist to know that David and Victoria Beckham are ”dizzy” and ”eccentric fools” – but it does help.

Top rumpologist Samantha Amos

So, when Jackie Stallone pronounces on the celebrity couple, she does so from a position of knowledge for she has seen their future in their bums.

The oddball mother of Rocky actor Sly Stallone tells the Star that the Beckhams visited her for a private reading at her home in Los Angeles.

There she studied the creases in their respective arses before giving them the benefit of her years of professional experience.

”I still can’t figure out which is the dizziest,” she said. ”He’s a player, she hasn’t woken up yet – and they’re both eccentric fools.

”They will stay married, I told them that. She doesn’t know if it’s night or day and, until she gets that straight, they’ll stay together.”

So, if Becks wants to stay married to his stick insect of a wife, then he knows what to do – start bringing her breakfast in bed at 6pm.

But not all rumpologists agree with Jackie’s reading.

The Star says Britain’s top bum-reader Samantha Amos ”fought a rearguard defence” of the couple.

”David will be back with an English team before next season,” she says (although whether this is based on a reading of his bum or the tabloid press is not clear).

”I can see a house move and a baby girl born within the next year.”

All this from David’s arse when try as we might all we could see was a couple of spots and a tattoo of a happy pig…’

Posted: 26th, January 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink