Back From The Dead

‘WARNING: You cannot believe everything you read on the internet. Really, you cannot.

You can’t keep a Goodman down

Whether it’s the story about Jennifer Aniston’s sex change operation or Tom Hanks’ third foot, web-based reports are as groundless as the ether through which they are transmitted.

But when we heard over the web that John Goodman was dead, we who noted the size of the man believed it to be true.

Flowers were dispatched. An Ode to John was written by Anorak’s poet in residence. Reruns of Roseanne began to take on an even greater poignancy.

But then we saw Goodman. And others in Hollywood began to see the actor. Even his wife, Annabeth, began to see her husband.

‘When he showed up at the Sundance Film Festival to promote a movie he was in, people looked at him as if they’d seen a ghost,’ says a friend of the actor.

But it was no such thing. It was a cruel hoax.

Goodman was alive, news which sadly came too late to save his show which was dying and is now dead.

But instead of getting down, Goodman pinched his considerable flesh and realised that he was alive. And being alive, he’d best make the most of things.

So, as the insider says, he’s decided to get in shape and get healthy.

And achieve his ambition of being best-looking, slimmest corpse in showbiz…’

Posted: 21st, February 2005 | In: Media Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink