What Katy Did

‘TOMMY Harris is about to learn the hard way that meddling in other people’s relationships will only ever end in disaster – just ask Jerry Springer.

‘Pah! I’d rather shag Gail!’

Tommy has taken great delight in splitting up his daughter Katy and Martin – he also tried to split up Sally and Kevin on the way just for a bit of extra fun.

“Yer’ve moved on from little girls to married women then have yer?” the odious one goaded Martin in the street. “You’d better be careful Kev,” he sneered, “it won’t be long before he ditches yer wife for yer daughter.”

Kevin, having about as many brain cells as Monica the greyhound, was quick to believe Tommy’s lies. “I’ll kill yer,” he screamed at Martin as Tommy stood by, quietly laughing into his mug of tea.

In an amazing display of two-faced hypocrisy any Member of Parliament could only dream of aspiring to, Sally managed to convince Kevin that the idea of her having an affair was utterly ridiculous.

However, Kevin and 11-year old daughter Sophie may be easy to deceive (having about the same mental age), but older daughter Rosie isn’t as dumb. Sally must be regretting ever sending Rosie to a private school where she’s finally learnt to add two and two to make four.

“Yer havin’ an affair with Gemma’s dad, aren’t yer?” she asked her horrified mum. “It’s the only thing that makes sense.”

So far Sally has managed to keep her daughter quiet by a combination of intimidation and blackmail: “If yer tell yer dad then we’ll get a divorce and it’ll be all your fault,” she screamed at her shaken child.

Across the road, Tommy is also displaying marvellous parenting skills, frog-marching his pregnant daughter off to have an abortion. “You don’t want to bring up the bastard child of Martin Platt, do yer?” he asked her. “You’ve got yer whole life ahead of yer.” Which is actually about two weeks as Katy is about to kill herself.

Martin hasn’t taken the break up and news of the abortion well – not to mention the fact that all his friends were only to ready to believe that he’d cheat on Katy with Sally Webster.

“I guess it’s a compliment in a way,” wittered Norris outside the Kabin to Betty and Gail, “that having tasted both the young and old vintages, Martin prefers a more mature wine.”

Gail rushed round to Sally’s for an explanation. “It’s totally ridiculous – the idea that I would be having an affair with Martin,” Sally scoffed. Gail pointed out that Sally was actually having an affair with someone else but in Simple Sally’s world, the two are entirely different.

More relationship mix ups this week in Weatherfield when Tracy came face to face with her father Ray Langton.

It’s been a good twenty years since Ray was last in the street but he certainly came back with a bang; almost running his long lost daughter over in his car – which, let’s face it, would be the best welcome home present anyone could have possibly hoped for.’

Posted: 8th, March 2005 | In: Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink