Fountain Of Gin

‘TO our knowledge, the Queen Mum never dieted - and yet she lived to be a sprightly 176 years of age.

Aqua vitae

Sure, she may have been pickled from within, preserved as some kind of living fossil by the large measures of gin she is said to have imbibed, but lived she did.

Now, however, she is dead. But she will rise again in the form of a public monument, plans for which the Mail says will be announced in Gordon Brown’s budget speech today.

According to the Mail, which has spoken with “Royal sources”, the memorial will be sited nest to the existing statue of her husband George VI, which can be seen on the Mall.

A picture of the Queen Mother will be etched into the base of the statue and a new fountain built.

Yes, a fountain. But don’t worry, this one will not be like that accursed thing meant to mark Princess Diana’s life and tears.

Although children and dogs should still take care lest they drink from the “gin fountain” and become too inebriated by grief to cross the nearby roads safely…

Compiled by Paul Sorene’

Posted: 16th, March 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink