And Then There Were Three

‘THEY say that you reap what you sow; after a lifetime of lashing out first before thinking, Tommy Harris was brutally murdered by his daughter Katy in a fit of anger. He’d obviously taught her well. Never the most stable or intelligent of teenagers (well, look who her parents are), Katy was pushed over the edge by Tommy’s goading. “Platt was never gonna stick with yer,” he jeered. “Couple of years and he’d be sniffing round some other school girl – maybe Sally’s Rosie. You can’t change a paedo.”

Tommy had convinced Katy that Martin had been having an affair with Sally Webster and had frog-marched her down to the abortion clinic to get: “get rid of the bastard Platt spawn.” What a great loss to humanity that man’s death is.

Unfortunately for Tommy, even someone as stupid as Katy was bound to discover that Martin and Sally having an affair is about as likely as the Queen inviting Camilla for a girlie sleep-over. “You lied to me!” roared Katy to Tommy, who she’d confronted in Martin’s garage where he was working after hours. “And?” smirked the ginger one, for the very last time. Katy picked up an iron wrench and smacked her dad on the head. Amazingly, for a man with the thickest skull in history, one tiny tap and he was dead.

It was just at this moment when Angela popped over to the garage and witnessed her daughter killing her husband. “Is… is he dead?” whispered Katy. “I’ve got his brain’s all down me cardie!” screamed Angela in what has to be one of the Street’s most surreal lines.

Angela quickly decided that she didn’t want to see her daughter in prison for ever (although most Street viewers would be more than happy) and decided to try and frame Martin. Angela ushered her hysterical daughter out of the garage, leaving her dead husband to be found by Tyrone in the morning.

Angela’s plans are quickly falling apart though as her moronic, murdering daughter keeps screaming and crying in front of the police about how: “it’s all her fault.”

Martin has also been released by the police due to lack of evidence, although there are plenty in the Street only too happy to convict him. “I don’t know how you’ve got the nerve to come back in here,” muttered Kevin into his pint as Martin walked into the Rovers. Kevin’s such a good judge of character he hasn’t even noticed that his wife’s been having an affair for six months. Poirot he ain’t.

Thankfully we’ll be seeing the last of the Harris family (or what’s left of them) soon – as Katy’s about to commit suicide and Angela and Craig leave to pass on their happy family tips elsewhere.

The Barlows are also struggling to keep their family together as the return of Deirdre’s first husband, Ray, is causing all sorts of problems. Deirdre’s put her re-marriage to Ken on hold while she tends to her ex husband who’s dying of cancer – much to Ken and Blanche’s annoyance.

“If he’s dying, I wish he’d just get on with it,” said Blanche – who’s clearly attended the Tommy Harris School Of Charm. Tracy has suddenly had a 180 degree turn of heart towards her estranged dad on hearing the news that he’s built up quite a fortune and is trying to decide who to leave it to.

As regular viewers will know, money is everything to Tracy; she slept with Roy for a 1 penny bet and tried to sell her daughter for a couple of thousand; God only knows what she’d be prepared to do for some serious cash.’

Posted: 17th, March 2005 | In: Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink