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Anorak | Cock Unsure

Cock Unsure

by | 31st, March 2005

‘EARLIER in the week, we looked on in horror as alleged drink-driving Vic Reeves acted like his car and hit the skids.

”Why did the chicken cross the road? To find a better joke”

Thankfully, his former lapdancer wife Nancy S.O.R.R.E.L.L (did you get that?) was there to pose for photos and tell the press that Vic was not allowed to talk.

Now, buoyed by her exposure in something more than a pair of suspenders, Nancy has held an interview with the Independent’s newspaper, which the Express has seen.

In it, N.A.N.C.Y (OK?) treats readers to the story of how when Preachy the chicken developed a limp, the couple fretted over what to do.

The wise thing would be to say nothing and pass off the injured limp as pre-tenderised meat.

But Nancy and her Vic are caring types, and knew that their bird deserved more than gravy and a side order of chips.

“I fell in love with him,” says Nancy of the fowl. “He was so cute and fluffy and white. Then one day he started limping and his head was hanging off a bit.”

(Are we alone in thinking the bird’s tale is some kind of allegory for Vic’s faltering career?)

So Nancy, who was “really upset”, called her man. “We couldn’t bring ourselves to wring his neck, so Jim got him with a rifle… Jim had to shoot him 10 times.”

And this, as the Sun reports, might have put Reeves in breach of animal cruelty laws.

As an RSPCA spokesman says: “A competent marksman would have dispatched a chicken in one shot.”

And not let it limp on and on, wandering around in ever decreasing circles like a comedian looking for a closing punchline…

Paul Sorene is the Anorak’



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