Winners Are Grinners

‘GOOD of the Independent to distil what already amounts to acres of election coverage into a front-page quote from each of the three main party leaders.

Labour’s marathon man

See if you can guess who said what. Quote 1: “So it is a big choice. It is a big decision.” Quote 2: “Imagine another five years of it.” And quote 3: “I think British politics is at a potentially pivotal turning point…”

Well done you who answered Howard, Kennedy, Blair in that order. Of course, you are wrong – it’s Blair, Howard, Kennedy – but you did correctly suppose that any leader could pretty much say the same anodyne comment as the next one.

So who to vote for? Well, as Tony would say, that is the big question. And, helpfully, the Tories have managed to reduce things down to the crux of their argument: vote for us and wipe the smirk off Tony’s face.

On the Telegraph’s cover page, the paper announces: “They’re off…and it’s personal.” Readers then hear Howard say that this ballot will be a referendum on Mr Blair’s “smirking politics”.

He says that Tony is “secretly grinning” at the thought of victory, and securing Labour and himself an historic third term.

So come on, say the Tories, let’s wipe the smug smile off his mush. Let’s teach him a lesson. Forget policies, this is the chance to give Tony a kicking.

The Times hears the news that this election is to be fought over Tony’s rictus grin, and says in headline form: “Day One: the gritted teeth are already making war on the smirk.”

As too the Independent, which one page on from a shot of Tony starting his election campaign with a broad smile into a mobile camera phone, produces the headline: “First a smile. And then he put on his war face.”

And Tony just loves his war face, having declared war on lots of people. But it’s preferable to his forced grin – that offensive weapon of mass distraction…

Paul Sorene is the Anorak’

Posted: 6th, April 2005 | In: Uncategorized Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink