Great Expectations

‘“IT was the best of rides, it was the worst of rides. It made me throw up so violently, I lost a lung and small piece of my lower intestine, which a small blond boy willingly ate. He then asked whether I had any more. The rapscallion!”

Children go free

That’s just one of the many soon-to-be-written reviews on the Charles Dickens theme park, the place that a group led by businessman Ken Christie wants to build in that shadowy area called the Thames Gateway.

“Rochester and Chatham in Kent make a natural location for a project based on Charles Dickens,” says Christie. “Dickens not only lived there, but it was where he originated many of his storylines.”

You can’t argue with that. So roll up to the proposed new £62million theme park, celebrating the works of the 19th century literary master in candy floss and vomit.

Feast on gruel sandwiches at Wackford Squeers’ food emporium; wade through open sewers of piss, human faeces and rats; and marvel at Betsy Prigg’s luxurious beard.

As the slogan will surely say: ”You’ll be left wanting more.”

It can’t fail…

Paul Sorene is the Anorak’

Posted: 7th, April 2005 | In: Uncategorized Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink