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Anorak | Colour Me Good

Colour Me Good

by | 19th, May 2005

‘“IT’S SO SAD BUT NOW MY BABY GIRL COMES FIRST,” screams the front cover of OK!. “I TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT MY ‘DRINK PROBLEM’.”

Not for publication

That sure is a lot of shouty capital letters. Indeed, IT’S hard to KNOW when to stop SHOUTING!

And do not doubt that there is a lot to shout about, because this is the return we’ve all been waiting for. This is the week when Jessie Wallace emerges from the gloom like a turbo-charged satsuma and gives us the juice on her life.

We all know that Jessie has had a “tough time in recent weeks”. For one thing, she’s not been in OK!; for another, she failed to win the title of sexiest woman in soap; and lastly, Dave Morgan, her now ex-fiance and father of the aforesaid BABY GIRL, sold a “sordid story” to a newspaper.

But whatever the trauma within, Jessie’s putting on a brave face. And just like all her other faces we’re so used to seeing, this one’s as orange and beaming as the very sun.

Having already heard how her daughter, Tallulah Lilac, an “angel”, is her “first priority”, we soon after learn that Jessie is not going “to get into a slanging match”.

We who have seen her performances to date, wonder why not. If there is one thing Jessie is good at it is slanging, and depriving us of it is cruel and a failure to play to her strengths.

But OK! still wants to know how and why Jessie split with dastardly Dave. “I will not discuss my relationship with him,” says Jessie. And neither will she discuss it with us. It’s private.

She is though willing to share the symptoms of said break up with the wider world, and say that her really close friends have been helping her through the trauma.

These mates might even have shared a glass of wine of two with her. But Jessie wants it on the record that she is not an alcoholic. “Yes,” says she, “I will have a drink when I get home from work – who doesn’t.”

This is not an invitation to answer “a non-alcoholic” or “a member of the Taliban” – it is a rhetorical question.

A proper question – and a darn fine one – is: “In the past, did you always see yourself becoming a mum at some point?”

Jessie answers: “No, never.” She then says, “I love being a mum.” And to the question, “How is motherhood going”, Jessie says, “I love being a mum.”

Such is the level of repetition, that we can only concur with the popular impression that Jessie’s life is like a soap opera – if you miss it the first time round, you can catch the repeats later…’



Posted: 19th, May 2005 | In: Reviews Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink