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Anorak | Natural Selection

Natural Selection

by | 20th, May 2005

‘IT was on the face of it an act of rare genius. Take a dozen random celebrities to a remote island and leave them there.

Anthea Turner, come on down

The risk that they begin to breed and so create and populate their own Pitcairn Island-style society of inbred celebs was even factored into things.

The makers of Celebrity Love Island positively encourage the has-beens and never-weres on this sun-soaked idyll to get together.

We at home would be thrilled, and not a little turned on, working out which bits of which celebrity would survive the genetic melting pool and come out on top.

The show would run for years, and in a century from now the Fijian island chosen for the big experiment would be overrun by a tribe of beings blessed with Lady Isabella Hervey’s charisma, Rebecca Loos’s charm and Calum Best’s raw talent.

The island could then be detonated by a Frenchman by the name of Dr Moreau checking out his country’s nuclear arsenal.

But already, after just a few days, we the people are switching off in our droves. Last Monday night’s launch netted over five million viewers; by Wednesday night of the same week, the audience had fallen to just over three million.

We calculate that when the show comes to fruition in 2105, no-one will be watching. And we’ll never know if former Hollyoaks actor Paul Danan did mange to thumb his nose at evolution and natural section by impregnating Jayne Middlemiss…’



Posted: 20th, May 2005 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink