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Anorak | Shave It Like Beckham

Shave It Like Beckham

by | 24th, May 2005

‘WHEN the cream of British manhood take to the beaches of Faliraki this summer, they will be easy to spot.

”I must, I must, I must improve my bust”

Lining up for the match against the waiters XI, will be around fifty civilising yeoman of the old empire, dressed in cheese-wire-thin G-strings, the hair on the head highlighted and preened, the hair on their bronzed chests waxed off.

The waiters, in turn, will look like the barbarians they surely are, all uneven tans, chest hair and Y-fronts encased in unenlightened shorts.

Whereas British man used to civilise the globe armed with a cup of tea and a suit, he now travels with a Ladyshave, a tub of self-tanning lotion and an ardent desire to display his neatly trimmed back, sack and crack to the locals.

And to thank for this we must salute David Beckham, the footballer, who, in a survey of readers of weekly teen mag Sneak, was found to be the person most boys wanted to be like.

The Mail speaks to the mag’s editor, Michelle Garnett, who says modern boys’ obsession with their looks is down to the “Beckham body beautiful” effect.

This is understandable enough – British males have been aping their sporting heroes ever since Dennis Compton put a tub of lard on his head and Kevin Keegan splashed it all over.

But surely the problem is not that they seek to emulate an idol like Beckham, but that most of them are trying to achieve the impossible.

The result is that many end up looking like Paul Gascoigne, or, indeed, Gazza’s famous sidekick, the eponymous Jimmy Fivebellies…in knickers.’



Posted: 24th, May 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink