Drool Britannia
‘WHICH of the following words do you think best describes the British peoples: uninhibited, tolerant, exhibitionist, passionate, aggressive, sentimental, hospitable and friendly?
Next stop the Hanging Gardens of Bolton |
Take your time. You cant be wrong. Britons are all those things. According to the new edition of the Lonely Planet guidebooks for backpackers, we are not a bad bunch.
Sure, you might get your face smashed up in the town precinct, mooned at and cried on, but youll be simply joining in the fun. Our mindless pissed-up fight is your mindless pissed-up fight. Come one, come all.
Britain hits you like a breath of fresh air, says the blurb. Leeds is the Knightsbridge of the North, Liverpool is no longer a city full of smart-ass scallies who would as soon nick your phone as tell a joke and Nottingham draws movers and shakers from all over the region.
It all sounds wonderful. But before Londoners turn as green as their wellies, they should pause for a moment.
And in the silence, we hear David Else, the guidebooks co-author, explain his work, saying that while we are still very honest and opinionated, we now waste less time with negatives.
He continues: If a place is bad, we simply leave it out. Were not putting a spin on anything, just trying to guide our readers to what is best?
Of course theyre not. And in an instant we understand.
If by publishing this work, Else and his team can send the great unwashed backpacker to some dim and distant region of Albion, then so much the better.
Itll leave more room in ugly and uninteresting London for the paying, sweet-smelling guests…’
Posted: 24th, May 2005 | In: Uncategorized Comment | TrackBack | Permalink