Forever Young

‘WE may never learn what Penny Lancaster sees in multi-millionaire showbiz legend Rod Stewart, but today we do at least get to know what he sees in her: a baby.

In for a Penny

While most old rockers are preparing to give their careers a shot of Live Aid II’s worthy pop Viagra, 60-year-old Stewart is planning to be a father for the seventh time.

“I am overjoyed and extremely proud to be able to confirm that my fiancée Penny is carrying our baby,” says Rod in the Star.

He goes on: “It will come as no surprise that Penny and I wanted to start a family as soon as possible.”

We’re not sure who Rod is addressing with that comment – his legion of fans? His last two wives? His pharmacist?

Rod’s been dating Penny for almost six years, which makes us wonder how long the seed of fatherhood has taken to mature? And briefly consider how long it would have taken Rod to impregnate Penny had he chosen to wait a while?

But let’s not dwell on the case history, nor ponder the effect of tight leopard-skin trousers on the male reproductive system, but simply join the Mail in wishing Rod the very best of luck.

And then take a look at the Mail’s “Rod’s Love Map”, which uses coloured lines to illustrate links between Rod’s many former lovers, his siblings and their lovers.

It’s a busy page, calling on readers to use their expertise in orienteering to track the link from Rod to Tania Strecker, a model engaged to Anthony de Rothschild, a former boyfriend of Rachel Hunter, who was Rod’s wife No. 2.

As the Mail links Rod to a long part of New Zealand and blonder areas of the US, we spot Kimberly Stewart, Rod’s daughter by ex-wife Alana Hamilton. She’s now “involved” with Wes Scantlin, who used to date Rachel Hunter, who, as we’ve said, used to be married to her dad.

This is less a road map and more a busy intersection, as we learn how Rod’s former lover Britt Eckland also dated Rod Adler, father of Cisco Adler, former lover of Kimberly Stewart.

And of Ashley Hamilton, Rod’s former step-son, who is “a close pal” of Robbie Williams, the singer who has dated Rachel Hunter.

And on it goes, until in time to come the greater Los Angeles area is peopled by a race of smallish men and women with excitable blond hair, zipping around town and asking everyone to “honk twice” if they find them sexy…’

Posted: 2nd, June 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink