Small Man Syndrome

‘WHEN the Sun published photos of the jailed Saddam Hussein in his underpants, we were shocked.

Worst case of small man syndrome we’ve ever seen

He looked so normal, pathetic even. His menace had departed with his medals and uniforms. He looked impotent. He looked small.

Saddam is no Linford Christie. The contents of his lunchbox have not been seen worthy of debate in the corridors of power in Whitehall, or the Star.

But the Sun has learnt that in Iraq, Saddam’s shaming has caused men to worry.

It seems that Iraqi troops are wearing boots too big for them because they believe foot size reveals the size of their manhood. The bigger the boot, the bigger the man.

And this means that “no one” has asked for a boot smaller than a size 10, leading to sprains, blisters, corns the size of, well, Saddam, and a new explanation as to why the two Gulf Wars have been over so quickly and so few Iraqi forces chose to surrender rather than turn and run.

But officers at the Baghdad-based Multi-National Security Transition Command, who train the Iraqi troops, have invented a solution - all boots have been relabelled four sizes bigger than they really are.

Now Ali, a pert size seven, can order a pair of size 11 boots and march up and down in his humongous oversized Y-fronts without being thought inadequate or foolish…’

Posted: 27th, June 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink