Anorak | Football’s Striker

Football’s Striker

by | 1st, August 2005

‘CONGRATULATIONS to the pneumatic Keeley on winning the Sun’s Page 3 Idol competition.

Sheryl and Gazza in happier times

“Seven months ago I was a nobody,” says Keeley, 18, who’s now a somebody, with a body she likes to flash at snappers. “My life has been transformed by the Sun. People now recognise me in the street.”

How great it must be to have Sun readers who lap up Page 3 with their morning cuppas approach you and say “Phwoarr!” as you walk the streets of your native Kent.

But better than Keeley’s elevation to the ranks of eternally 24-year-old Zoe and busty Nikki is the news that normal service has been resumed. After weeks of bombs, mayhem and terror, we now can relax a little and enjoy Keeley, a girl who makes us all proud to be British.

And what of those front-page stories on this joyous day? Well, the Express must be exhausted after spending hours working out how the London bombs have affected house prices in the Midlands and takes a day off by saying: “DIANA WAS PREGNANT.”

That’s not the Sun’s Page 3 Idol contestant Dishy Diana from Dawlish, but our very own clean-living and chaste Princess Diana, who was, apparently, with child at the time of her death.

But the bigger story, bigger than the Mail’s lead on how 18-year-old Anthony Walker was murdered with an axe because he was black, is on the Sun’s cover. Thereon we learn: “GAZZA BEAT UP FAMILY.”

The amazing story is

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Posted: 1st, August 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink