Anorak | Doubting Tom

Doubting Tom

by | 16th, August 2005

‘ANY idea what today’s big news story is? We only ask in the hope that if you have any idea – any idea at all – you will tell the papers.

Life is like a box of wafers

Surely, says you, there must be news of Omar Bakri, the Sun’s “mad mullah”, who on slow news days can be relied upon to say something priggish? But no. And neither is their any news of any of his shadowy band.

What about the Mail’s story on how radial Islam gives you cancer? Sadly not. There are stories about addictive headache pills, that drink-related deaths are up to 20 per cent in “bingeing Britain” and how women are addicted to tanning, a condition called “tanorexia”, but cancer is on holiday.

There must be some hope that the Express can pull out the stops and in the best traditions of fearless reporting tell us how the lack of rainfall is affecting house prices in Aylesbury.

But though we look to the Express for guidance in such matters, there’s no mention of it. Instead there’s a phone vote, which asks: “Should Japan compensate British victims for atrocities.”

Which leaves us to think that the war on terror must be over (hurrah!), that cancer has been cured (hurrah!) and that the value of a maisonette in Bournemouth is no longer considered big news (yippee!).

But we still need a story to inform our day. Anything will do. So here’s the Sun telling us that movie star Tom Hanks looks “rough”.

Spotted turning up at Lincoln Cathedral for the making of the film of the hit book

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Posted: 16th, August 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink