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Anorak | Weight & See

Weight & See

by | 5th, September 2005

‘ULRIKA Jonsson is right, as usual. “Life has taken such an unexpected turn”. Who would have thought it?

‘Don’t call me Anthea’

But there it is in inky black on glossy white – Hello! has uttered its first criticism of its target in a celebrity interview.

Sure, there is all the normal syrup we’ve come to expect from the magazine that can cause tooth decay. Hello! just happens to arrive as Ulrika is “fooling around in the kitchen making Swedish sponge cake with her two little girls”.

Hello! gives space for Ulrika to tell us: “When I was pregnant I didn’t mind how fat I was because my body was performing the greatest task.”

Being fat was not a reason for us not seeing Ulrika on our TV screens these past few months. No. It was not. “She made a conscious decision to withdraw from the public gaze,” says Hello! with childlike certainty.

But it’s on the subject of Ulrika’s weight that Hello! develops a literary tick. It’s as if the interview has been warned by the doctor that too much sugar is bad for the health. Go for some balance. Stick in something sour.

So with a quivering pen, the following line is laid down, to be read by all as nothing short of the cathartic moment when the wind changed and Ulrika’s face stayed fixed forever in a rictus grin of self satisfaction.

Says the magazine: “She is trim and toned – if a little too slim and so fit that earlier this year she did a fun run to raise money for an orphanage

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Posted: 5th, September 2005 | In: News Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink