Rolling Pete Gathers Moss

‘“HAVE you been binge drinking,” asks the policeman with heavy sarcasm as he pulls a young lad up from the foul-smelling gutter by his shirt collar.

A perfect match

“Yesh, occifer,” says the lad. “I wanna be like Freddie Flintoff.” The cop nods. “Don’t we all, son. It’s a noble dream. Here, have a cigar.”

And so it goes. Drinking to excess is bad for us, says the Government, but when England’s sporting hero does it, it looks cool and is celebrated throughout the press.

So what of Pete Doherty? The singer is no sportsman, but he is afforded iconic status by certain sections of society.

The Suns says that Pete is “worshipped by certain clothes designers who think he is one of the coolest men on the planet”.

As “a pal” tells the Sun’s Victoria Newton, Dior Homme designer Hedi Slimane loves the way the singer wears a suit (on his back and legs) and hat (atop his head).

Indeed, Pete is so very cool that he’s just recorded a song with his girlfriend, the mo-del Kat Moss, which is to be given away free on every copy of French Vogue magazine.

Heroin can really screw you up, says the official message – but if you’re a minor celebrity, it can gain you loads of exposure in the press and elevate you to superstar status.

It’s not unfair to say that many more of us know who Doherty is because of his past addiction, run-ins with the law and girlfriend than for his music.

But while Flintoff and Doherty remind the yoof that you can drink, smoke and take drugs and be successful and famous, the Sun tells us about that song.

The duet is called La Belle Et La Bete (Richard And Judy) and features the couple singing and Pete playing acoustic guitar.

It “might sound a bit sickly”, as the Sun says, but do not think that it will be anything other than edgy, cool and the last word in chic.

And, as is as is the way with any new fashion, it’s sure to spawn a host of copycat recording. Look out for Day-vid and Victoria’s version of Linda Ronstadt and Aaron Neville’s Don’t Know Much, and get ready to tap your Cuban heels to Sven Goran Eriksson and Nancy Dell’Olio’s take on Barry Gibb and Barbra Streisand’s What Kind Of Fool Am I.

And there will be more. Put down that Flaming Nipple and pass the hookah pipe, Cherie, Tony feels a song coming on…’

Posted: 14th, September 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink