Anorak | Toxic Shock

Toxic Shock

by | 22nd, September 2005

‘AFTER the Caesarean comes the important business of getting your figure back in shape. But what shape will new mum Britney Spears opt for?

‘Full-fat of semi-skimmed, sir?’

It seems that Britney is not all she seems. The girl who titillated us with the is she-isn’t she a virgin caper is reported by the Enquirer to have had a boob job when she was a teenager.

Now, we know this is no big news to anyone who can spot a pair of gravity-defying apples at a hundred paces, but we are shocked. The source says Britney had the boob job when she was just 17 a time when she was wearing her school uniform and begging her baby to hit her one more time. Can it be true?

Surely fake breasts are not yet part of the uniform at even the most progressive Hollywood high school.

But it’s all too true, we fear. And because of her implants, the once sweet, innocent, virginal Britney is worried that she may not be able to breast-feed her son, the one they call Preston Michael Spears Federline.

Dr Rika Schwartz tells the Enquirer that being able to breast-feed is dependent on what type of surgery Britney has had. In case any budding Britney’s are looking in and looking to pop along to Messers Nip ‘n’ Tuck at break time, the doctor says, “If there is not enough tissue connected to the nipple for milk ducts, then breast-feeding will be impossible.” You have been warned.

Sure, bottle-feeding

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Posted: 22nd, September 2005 | In: News Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink