Plastic Pop

‘PREGNANT Katie Holmes can only look on in envy as she reads the Star’s headline: “BRITNEY GIVES BIRTH TO DOLLS.”

Dolls have small heads that can freely rotate and so lessen the chance of a breach birth and causing pain. Dolls have long, smooth and slippery limbs. Dolls don’t turn their mother onto drugs at the outset, like those other real children.

But the truth is that Britney’s newborn son Preston is not a dolly at all. He’s a bouncing bundle of flesh and bone.

This dolly Preston is what Britney has urged toy makers to produce. And to go with it, she wants her entire family to be turned into plastic people.

Granted, this may already have been done. But if Britney has her way, we will soon be able to own our very own Spears clan, complete with husband Kevin and miniature dogs for plastic Britney to carry around.

A source tells the paper that the Britney dolly would be made to sing her biggest hits. A switch of Kevin’s back will see him breakdance. And another switch will allow Preston to cry.

Which is something else Katie Holmes can be envious of…’

Posted: 7th, October 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink