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Anorak | Coke To Blighty

Coke To Blighty

by | 10th, October 2005

‘COCAINE has never been more popular – at least not in the Mirror, where Kate Moss is still the big, front-page story of the day.

Where fashionable Moss leads others follow. And here comes Elton John to give us his considered opinion on the matter in: “ELTON: I’M GLAD KATE WAS CAUGHT.”

“I’m just glad Kate is there,” says Elton, looking on as Moss checks into The Meadows clinic in Arizona. “I am happy she is doing something.”

Elton also wants to thank the British media for giving Kate a hard time. “They won’t let you get away with it,” says Elton, who, as the paper reminds us all, experienced his own battle with drugs.

“I wish Elvis Presley had lived in England because if he had, he would probably still be alive today,” says Elton. And aged 70, perhaps The Pelvis would be all set to become the latest council tax martyr and reprise his role in Jailhouse Rock.

But while we imagine an old Elvis swivelling his new titanium hips on day-time telly, and are invited by the Mirror to view the pictures of a 14-year-old Moss on her first fashion shoot, the Mirror has news of Boy George.

The singer is spotted arriving back in Blighty after being held for 20 hours by police in New York. The cops claim to have found five grams of cocaine in the star’s apartment.

This news is too fresh for Elton John to be able to comment on. But we do get to hear that the singer, real name George O’Dowd, will deny any charge and claim the drugs belong to someone else.

And do not doubt that they could have belonged to just about anyone. The signs are that Moss has done for cocaine what she once did for Burberry – she’s made it fashionable.

Everyone’s at it. And the Sun says how four mechanics have been rushed to hospital after drinking tea from an urn in which a colleague had hidden his stash of cocaine.

There is no suggestion that any of the workers knows Elton John, nor has fraternised with Kate Moss or any of her Moss’s Posse.

All the Sun tells us is that when the workers at the Pip Bayley Truck Centre at Blunham, Beds, tried their morning cuppas, they realised immediately it wasn’t PG Tips.

All four workers who quaffed the noxious brew were seen by a doctor and are now fine.

Police are investigating the incident, but are not certain who is responsible. Especially not since Moss is in Arizona with an alibi, and Elvis is dead…’



Posted: 10th, October 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink