Defence Of The Realm

‘OI! You! Yes you. The one in new Chelsea football shirt, with the label still attached. How many members of the Chelsea team can you name?

That’s a simple enough question. And given the size of the squad at the club built by Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich, if you shout out any footballer’s name, you’ll probably be right.

But Israeli Oded Kalfon somehow failed in this simple task. The Sun says that when Kalfon flew into London for a holiday he was met by the immigration squad.

“Why are you here?” they asked. “I’m on ‘oliday”, said Kalfon. Guards: “What are your plans?”

Kaflon: “I’m going to watch a football match.”

Guards: “Which team?”

Kaflon: “Arsenal or Chelsea.”

Guards: “Name some Chelsea players, then.”

Unbelievably, given football’s blanket coverage, Kaflon could not. Which meant that after being quizzed for four hours, and spending eights hours on his jolly holidays, Kaflon was on a plane back home.

But the 24-year-old restaurant worker shouldn’t worry. He can always come back. And we advise that next time he eschews the charms of Heathrow and instead takes the Channel Tunnel.

And he needn’t even buy a ticket to travel. As the Mirror says, those planning to take the trip can do as Lance Dyer did and walk the route.

Sure Dyer was arrested by French police when he emerged blinking from the tunnel after his 15-hour stroll from Folkestone to Calais, but it hadn’t cost him a euro.

Dyer, who walked the 31-mile long tunnel in a pair of flip-flops, was soon handed over to Kent police and charged with causing a public nuisance and endangering life by being on a railway line.

The police are now questioning him as to how he managed to evade security and get inside the tunnel, and if he has ever played for Chelsea…’

Posted: 12th, October 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink