Shopper Soiled

‘LIKE knowing where you were when JFK was shot or what you doing when you first saw Liz Hurley in that dress, the moment any of us hears Coleen McLoughlin talk will be ingrained on out minds for all eternity.

She might be, as Hello! says, “BRITAIN’S MOST TALKED-ABOUT PERSONALITY”, but has anyone heard her talk about anything?

Until that momentous day when Coleen addresses her public, we are forced to get by with just having her speech transcribed by Hello!.

And we’re left to imagine how she sounds. The pitch of her voice is surely like the chirpy tring of a dying whale combined with the tone the raw huskiness of tissue paper being unravelled from a designer ra-ra skirt.

Hello! catches up with Coleen as she wears a short red and gold dress, a red bra top and stands at the helm of a yacht surely bound for the Mersey.

“It’s true my lifestyle has changed,” says Coleen, her manicured fingers on the wheel, “but I’m still the same person I always was.”

Indeed, she is still Coleen McLoughlin, as she ever has been. Wayne has not yet married her and made her Coleen Rooney; she remains unchanged.

But it’s hard to remain unaffected by all the media pressure. Coleen should continue to give interviews with showbiz mags and pose for Vogue – why should she change what she is because of the intrusive media? She’s just like you and me.

“One day we’d popped into Tesco’s in a hurry,” says Coleen. “I was looking a real mess in a tracksuit with no bra on, but as I got out of the car there was a lens in my face. I jumped back in and said to Wayne, ‘”Right, you’re doing the shopping!’”

You can just picture easy-going, happy-go-lucky Wayne jumping from the car and skipping off with his shopping basket like a freckly Little Red Riding Hood. Or swearing.

“There seems to be cameramen everywhere, but I’m not going to dress up everyday for them,” says Coleen. ‘People shouldn’t be judged on what they wear.” If you want to wear no bra, a tracksuit and look a mess, you go for it. And if a cameraman wants to take photo, jump back into the car, close the door and let him.

So much for that media intrusion. Coleen remains a breath of fresh air.

And if you want to see how fresh, check out the programme about her being broadcast on TV before Christmas and the fitness DVD. Both, as Coleen says, will give viewers the chance to see the “real me”.

What could be more real than having cameras follow you to the gym, shopping in London and Manchester and covering a fashion show in Milan (what in?). “It will culminate in me finding the perfect dress for a red-carpet event.”

So that’s shopping, shopping and, er, shopping. “Yes, I love fashion and looking around the shops but not every day as they [the media] want to portray.” Indeed, some days you’re in Milan looking at a fashion show…’

Posted: 9th, November 2005 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink