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Anorak | Angelina Blows

Angelina Blows

by | 24th, November 2005

‘IF Angelina Jolie were to explode all over the place, which bit of her would you try to retrieve from among the debris?

Blowing it

Americans love their star memorabilia, and in time at a convention centre in Las Vegas, the hunters will assemble, each clutching a bit of the actress (shrink wrapped in polythene), and try to piece Angelina back together again.

It could happen. In America, anything can happen. Just take a look at the Enquirer’s headline. And know that “ANGELINA ERUPTS”.

And what has made Angelina blow her stack are those “CHEATING accusations”.

But who’s been doing the cheating? Well, no-one. Ok, not no-one. Of course not no-one. America is full of cheats – love cheats, drugs cheats, card cheats, memorabilia cheats. We mean to say no-one, as in neither Angelina nor her beau Brad Pitt has been cheating on the other.

The catalyst for Angelina’s fury is a “bogus magazine article” which claimed Angelina has been secretly meeting up with her former husband, British actor Jonny Lee Miller.

This report, which the Enquirer tells us first appeared in Life & Style Weekly, is based on a story supplied by a “witness” who claims to have overheard Miller talking about La Jolie.

In the interests of showing what damage can be caused by bad reporting and sensation, the Enquirer now relays to those of you not au fait with the aforesaid and august publication what was allegedly said.

An unnamed source claimed Miller said: “Mr. Pitt has not idea who Angie really is. We love each other deeply, and Mr. Pitt, I’m sure, doesn’t know how much we love each other – or how often!”

That’s sounds very dramatic, like an extract from a Jackie Collins books set in Dickensian England. (“’Oh, Mr. Pitt. Under hand me, sir,’ cried little Meg as Mr Pitt. took her hard over the lingerie counter at Neiman Marcus.”)

And it was enough to send Angelina mad with rage. As a source explains: “Cheating is a word that sends shivers down her spine. Don’t forget that she’s never forgiven her actor dad Jon Voight for cheating on her mother.”

Indeed, we must not forget that. It’s little wonder Angelina has exploded. Leaving Brad and the rest of us to pick up the pieces…’



Posted: 24th, November 2005 | In: Reviews Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink