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All Bar Hats

by | 11th, January 2006

‘“THE hat is not for the street: it will never be democratised. But there are certain houses that one cannot enter without a hat. And one must always wear a hat when lunching with people whom one does not know well. One appears to one’s best advantage” – Coco Chanel.

Looking at the yoofs in their chavtastic baseball caps it’s hard to believe that the hat was once the ultimate morion of respectability.

The fine reputation once enjoyed by the hat has long gone. Time has moved on.

And we are sympathetic to the plight of “angry granddad” Colin Osborne, who appears in the Mirror neatly turned out in a tidy, felt trilby.

For the benefit of the Sun’s readers, and out of a sense of politeness and decency, Mr Osborne, as his hat demands he be addressed, doffs his headgear in their direction.

But the barmaid at The Monument pub in Hereford is unimpressed. She wants him to go further. She wants him to remove his hat completely. This is a Greene King pub, and such regal establishments have standards.

As a spokesman for the chain of pubs explains: “Hats of any kind obscure the face of customers from the cameras. To remain consistent and fair, we ask all customers to observe the policy.”

Fair enough. You can’t make the hoodies remove their cowls and show their pimply mugs and ignore the clear danger posed by other forms of headgear.

Perhaps it would be fairer still if 64-year-old Mr Obsorne were asked for proof of his age, as other drinkers might be? Or asked if he’d like ice and a slice in his pint of bitter, as doubtless the barmaid demands of gin and vodka drinkers? Anything less is discriminatory.

But rather than argue the point, Mr Osborne removed his hat “to keep the peace”.

Of course he did. The civilising effects of a trilby hat permit no other course of action.

Though contentious – Mr Osborne maintains that he should be able to wear a hat where he chooses – and slammed as “ridiculous” by no less an authority than Hat Magazine, the incident passed of peacefully.

But we wonder how different things could have been had Mr Osborne turned up at the pub sporting a large crown, a veil or – horror of horrors – a Cavalry Helmet of the 6th Inniskilling Dragoons…’



Posted: 11th, January 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink