Anorak | Slings & Arrows

Slings & Arrows

by | 16th, January 2006

‘HOW do you stop London winning the right to host the Olympic Games in 2012? With pink icing? A chocolate fondant? A rich orange cream with five marzipan rings?

On Monday, the nation’s hungry young pastry chefs were backing the capital’s bid to host the 2011 Worldskills tournament, previously known as the Skills Olympics

And not only them, but hairdressers, web designers, florists, floor tilers, a London mayor and the Chancellor were hoping to impress the two visiting judges who sit on the tournament’s organising board.

So long as the bid team keep the doyens of the games away from London’s Tube workers, cabbies, bus drivers and traffic wardens, we have every chance of winning the right for hat makers to stick another feather in London’s bowler.

Sadly, the competition is only open to those of you under 22 years of age, meaning Prince William is already too old to win a gong for ironing, boot polishing and laundry three things that will make a soldier of him as we watched him begin life at Sandhurst.

But Wills is free to enter the contest to design a fitting tribute to his great granny, the Queen Mother. Perhaps Wills can outdo our budding welders, joiners and carpenters and come up with something in gin and wood.

But, sadly, the nation’s mechatronics experts are unable to compete. On Tuesday, we read the brief: “Ease of ongoing maintenance by the Royal Parks is a key issue, so the use of water and moving parts is to be discouraged.”

This monument needs to be a blends of science and art. And don’t be put off – science is easy. As far as Dr Martin Stephen, headmaster of St Paul’s public school, London, told us on Thursday, earning a GCSE in science is as easy as dribbling your dinner into a bib.

“The new GCSEs are to real science what baby food is to steak,” said he. “They will bore the pants off many students, not inflame them with a new love of science.” Science has been “dumbed down and broadened out”.

Nonsense. Science was just becoming useful. Just get a load of the sample exam question that appeared in the Mail: “Ali likes potatoes. He knows potatoes can be cooked by frying them or boiling them. Write down one other way to cook potatoes.”

Answer: Place exam paper, GCSE exam certificates and other wastepaper into

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Posted: 16th, January 2006 | In: Broadsheets Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink