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Anorak | Eat The Rich

Eat The Rich

by | 23rd, January 2006

‘YOU might not be invited to dine with the Queen on the occasion of her 80th birthday, but you can have a say in what she and the chosen few will be sinking their wooden teeth into.

The Express says that the BBC has devised a TV show in which you the viewers will be able to vote on what you think her Majesty should chow down on.

By way of research, we’ve taken the liberty of visiting a care home of the elderly and noted that the typical 80-year-old’s diet consists of reconstituted meat products, boiled sweets and the contents of unmarked cans donated by local schoolchildren at last year’s Harvest Festival.

But this is the Queen; her dinner will not be prepared by Meals On Wheel’s, but a bunch of the nation’s celebrity chefs.

Each of these 14 Wozzas will cook a four-course meal. The hoi polloi will then be invited to pick up our phones and choose the best starter, fish dish, main course and dessert from the selection.

The ensemble of delights will then he fed to Liz at a dinner hosted by the London Lord Mayor, David Brewer.

While the Queen thrills at the idea of being turned into a reality TV show, Jay Hunt, controller of BBC Daytime, bubbles like a microwaved pot of baked beans.

“It’s fantastic that the best of the best, as chosen by the audience, will then be tasted by her Majesty the Queen,” says she.

But great as it undeniably is, surely the Queen must be a little concerned what we will decide she eats.

Anti-royalists may be tempted to see her presented with a simmering plate of fox a la mode and roast Northern Bottlenose Whale in aspic.

The one limitation is that all the food must be sourced from local ingredients.

Which again may be bad news for the Queen – forced to make do without her customary plate of kochschinken washed down with a litre of Black Tower…’



Posted: 23rd, January 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink