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Anorak | Three’s A Crowd

Three’s A Crowd

by | 27th, January 2006

‘THE seventh Golden Rule of Hollywood clearly states, and we quote: “Whenever Jennifer Aniston is mentioned there must be mention made of her ex-husband Brad Pitt. A picture of Jen must be accompanied by picture of Brad. And vice versa.”

Like placenta, revenge is a dish best served cold

Since no-one has ever breached this golden rule, we are unsure what the punishment for doing so is.

But the Enquirer is taking no chances and in a piece entitled “JEN’S REVENGE PREGNANCY PLAN!” the magazine tells us that Jen is planning to get pregnant and steal the thunder from Brad.

In case you didn’t know, Angelina Jolie, Brad’s current squeeze, is taking a break from adopting other people’s children from exotic climes and having a whirl at giving birth to her very own young American.

This pregnancy will not be free of pain – especially for Jen. As a friend of Jen’s puts it: “It’s as if a dagger pierced Jen’s heart.” It is also “crushing”, sticks “another knife in her back” and makes Jen feel “like chopped liver”. Get that woman an epidural!

It’s a miracle Jen is still standing let alone contemplating revenge. And what a payback it is.

As a friend says: “I think it’s probably the only way she could get back at Brad [for getting Angelina pregnant so soon after their breakup].”

But even in Hollywood a woman needs a sperm to get her pregnant. And the one Jen seems to have selected is currently residing within the tall loins of actor Vince Vaughn.

The Enquirer reports that Jen’s friends says she’s told Vince that she wants to get married and have a baby. And a source says that for the plan to come off, Vince would have to “step up to the plate” – a none-too-flattering Americanism for having sex and impregnating Jen.

“If he can’t do that, Jen’s told him to hit the road so she can find someone who can,” says a source.

But who else is there? The only other man who seems to be in her life is Brad Pitt. But, as the story goes, he’s busy. Although he is capable…’



Posted: 27th, January 2006 | In: News Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink