Anorak | George & The Whale

George & The Whale

by | 30th, January 2006

‘WAS the whale that swam up the Thames into the heart of London a portent of doom? Was Wally/Willy/Whaley trying to tell us something? If she was, Neptune should have sent Flipper as his emissary because all Wally did was swim, swim some more and then die.

This left Monday’s Mirror to ask: “Why did he die?” In “FAREWELL TO WHALEY”, we heard that the whale’s death may have had something to do with the disorientating effects of a recent series of military explosions close to the Thames estuary.

It just might have had something to do with the fact that the whale was followed up the Thames by a flotilla of boats, forced to beach and lifted onto a grotty barge.

But what about those shadowy military explosions? It’s unlikely we’ll ever know what they entail – unless an undersea rock tells all.

On Tuesday, we learnt that rocks do indeed know many things. They are privy to secrets. There are rocks in Moscow that have been communicating with British spies. Rocks must not be taken lightly. Rocks should be watched closely.

The Russian were taking no chances and had even filmed one particular rock for a TV expose. The Express published a still of the rock fraternising with our man in Moscow, Andrew Fleming.

The Russians claimed that within this boulder British intelligence has secreted a hi-tech transmitting device. It was delicate, leading–edge espionage.

Enthralled, we looked at the ensuing images of Fleming logging on by drawing back his right leg and giving the rock a kick. Perhaps this was the only way to get the rock to talk, even it did look like a form of torture.

But such is the price of freedom. What matter how you get your message across so long as the masses get to hear it?

So the rock gets a kicking. And George Galloway gets booted out of the Big Brother house, branded a venal, bullying, conniving etc. etc. etc.

You have already read 1 premium article for free today
Access immediately the premium content with Multipass

Or come back tomorrow

Posted: 30th, January 2006 | In: Broadsheets Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink