Monkey Business

‘HOW long do you suppose it takes two white-fronted marmosets and nine black-eared marmosets to produce Anorak, let alone the Bard’s complete works?

And please bear in mind that the simians will also be expected to take dictation from two pairs of parrots.

This is, naturally, a hypothetical question. We are no more in possession of those beasts than we have a small penguin called Toga living in our chest freezer.

We just ask the question in light of the Mail’s news that, like said penguin, the monkeys and birds have been stolen from a zoo. And Danny Reynolds, owner of Exmoor Zoo, North Devon, is pleading for their safe return.

“Unless they are looked after by someone who knows how to care for them, they are going to die,” says Reynolds. He continues: “Whoever has done this deserves to be strung up.”

And if that is not warning enough for the criminals, Reynolds reminds them that he has the monkeys’ DNA on record, making it hard for crooks to sell them to another collection.

But still there has been no word from the thieves or monkeys – typed or otherwise.’

Posted: 20th, March 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink