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Anorak | Shady Deals

Shady Deals

by | 6th, April 2006

‘IT’S front-page news. It must be big. And it is. As the Sun announces: “EMINEM DIVORCE.”

You may now puke on the bride

A mere 82 days after retying the knot in a second marriage to Kimberley, the singer has had enough. “IT’S A RAP,” says the Sun as Eminem files for divorce.

“HIP HOP IT, Kim!” puns the Star, saying that Eminem has cancelled the honeymoon, scheduled for this summer.

Over in the Mirror, Eminem’s grandmother, Betty Kresion, is heard saying that Kim has “brainwashed” her kinfolk. “Boy has he made a big mistake. With no prenup or nothing! She’ll take everything. I think he’s crazy.”

Perhaps he is. But why have the couple split? Kim is the muse who has given the singer some of his finest moments, from the tattoo “Kim: Rot in Pieces” inked onto his chest to the lyrics: “You make me f***in’ sick to my stomach, Every time I think of you, I puke.”

No Kim could well mean that Eminem is no longer able to draw on that well of emotion that gets his gastric juices flowing.

We urge him to reconsider…’



Posted: 6th, April 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink