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Pointy Heads

by | 24th, April 2006

‘SO much for the Silence of the Lambs. The biggest horror story playing in Hollywood last week was The Silence of Katie Holmes. The actress was to give birth in silence and without drugs.

Tastes like fear

She was also expected to look on – maintaining an awe-struck if not a fearful silence as boyfriend Tom Cruise celebrated the birth by scoping up the placenta and eating it.

On Tuesday we heard that Tom thought these ephemeral organs were “very nutritious”. As he said: “I’m gonna eat the placenta. I thought that would be good. Very nutritious. I’m gonna eat the cord and the placenta right there.”

“Right there”!? Were we to imagine that rather than frying the placenta with some fava beans and a little Chianti, Cruise intended to tear into the rubbery organ at its freshest?

Not since Quasimodo took his hump to Hollywood had a bump caused so much wonder, horror and revulsion.

On Wednesday things took an unexpected turn when we learned that Katie was wavering in her commitment to silence.

She was not sure that having the birth at home was such a good idea atfer all. She’d heard talk of a place called a “hospital” where there were “doctors” who handle lots of births.

These doctors wore “white coats”, which may or not be relevant to the Holmes-Cruise romance.

But Tom was, as a source told

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Posted: 24th, April 2006 | In: Broadsheets Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink