She Who Must Be Obeyed

‘TO celebrate the Queen’s 80th birthday, the Mail is giving its readers the chance to own a Royal Worcester figurine of Her Majesty. It’s 23cm tall.

And that is not all. While you dream of cementing the patriotic object d’art to the bonnet of your car or gold coach, the Mail is also offering something more portable. For the right combination of tokens and cash you can own replicas of six items of the Queen’s own jewellery collection.

But if such works are not to your taste, there are other ways to mark the Queen’s birthday. You could do as Prince Harry is pleading to do and demand to be sent to a war zone.

“It is what serving Queen and country is all about and I just couldn’t face my men otherwise,” the Mail hears Harry tell a pal.

A trip abroad is surely a great way to mark such an auspicious occasion as Her Majesty’s birthday. And you need not always take a gun. As The Mirror says, Princess Michael of Kent has been celebrating in Italy with a man.

Appearing, apparently, unarmed and dressed in a camel-coloured coat, Princess Pushy is seen in the company of a 40-year-old Russian by the name of Mikhail Kravchenko.

The Mail has a picture of the two ambling about in the Venice sunshine and riding on a gondola like “young lovers”.

The story goes that the 61-year-old spent a weekend in the Cipriani Hotel’s £2,200-a-night presidential suite under the name Mrs Green. For good measure, the princess also booked a neighbouring bedroom, accessible from her own chambers by a connecting door.

The princess denies any affair, but onlookers recall seeing she and Mikhail holding hands and linking arms. The twosome were very “touchy-feely” says one onlooker.

“Of course Mikhail finds me attractive and beguiling,” says the wife of the Queen’s cousin. “Men are charmed by me and in return I am a very tactile woman.”

She then asks why it is that people can’t show her some respect. “In the old days they would have been hung drawn and quartered for this type of journalism – and I know that is something the Queen will support me on.”

Fair enough, we say. It is the Queen’s birthday, and if she wants us to disembowel a hack then so be it…’

Posted: 24th, April 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink