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Anorak | Curry In A Hurry

Curry In A Hurry

by | 30th, April 2006

‘COME on, Jade! You can do it. Get those kebabs up. Only 26 miles to the next chicken madras and chips stop.

A cry for help

But Jade wasn’t listing. Our words of encouragement at the London Marathon were being drowned out by the sound of blood pumping in her ears, and GMTV’s Andrew Castle vomiting by the kerb.

“Jade looked like she was turning blue,” said an eyewitness. “She was clearly overheating and you could see lots of steam coming off her.” Another voice told us: “I’ve been coming to watch the marathon for years and I’ve never seen anyone in such a state.”

And that must be a result. Watching marathons is surely not too unlike watching a Formula 1 Grand Prix – the only interesting bits, breaks in the procession, are when someone hits the wall. Unless, of course, you have a fetish for vests.

That was Monday. On Tuesday, David Bedford, director of the London Marathon, said that Jade Goody’s attempt to win the race was “almost at times suicidal”.

“For her to think ‘I’m just going to walk around’ and not even be able to do that shows she’s done nothing and isn’t in good shape,” said Bedford.

But Jade had gone 21 miles, and that is not too shabby. “Bearing in mind I’m eating takeaways, I did all right,” said Jade.

But then she had not been checked for performance-enhancing drugs. On Thursday we heard that Jade was “hooked” on slimming pills.

She took one just before her London Marathon debut and once mixed them with absinthe at a children’s party.

Slimming pills have been known to contain amphetamine. That’s speed. Had Jade won the Marathon, we shudder to think of the ramifications. For Ben Johnson at the Seoul Olympics, read Jade Goody in London.

Of course, Jade should not worry too much about her weight. John Prescott is not exactly svelte and he can pull.

On Thursday, we heard the chilling news that Deputy Prime Minister Prescott had cheated on his wife with his secretary, Tracey Temple.

Hypocritical? Let’s consider the evidence. The Times tells us that when aged 13, honest John reported his father to the police. “My dad’s a magistrate,” said John. “I’ve seen him kissing

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Posted: 30th, April 2006 | In: Broadsheets Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink