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Anorak News | A Polish Apple A Day

A Polish Apple A Day

by | 11th, June 2006

A LOOK at the things that will kill you and yours from last week’s Mail – the paper of doom…

Monday

“Why English apples are under threat” – Asylum seekers? MRSA? No. Polish farmers, who are selling their apples cheaper

“Postcode lottery fears over cancer drug that could save hundreds” – Herceptin, the cancer ‘wonder drug’, might not be available to everyone

“Millions in danger from the chip and pin cards fraudsters” – Experts say the new system if flawed

“According the legend, tomorrow is the day of the Devil – and will trigger the end of the world. Superstitious hokum? Hollywood hype? Or should we really prepare for the worst?” – Can things get any worse?

“DEATH BY SNACK ATTACK- Britons eat more than half the crisps consumed in Europe. Our children eat 25 times as many sweets as in 1950. The shocking truth about the snack addiction that’s slowly killing us” – Surely the preservatives will keep us alive?

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TUESDAY

“Consultants ‘can’t get jobs because of NHS cash crisis’” – So says Bernhard Ribero, president of the Royal College of Surgeons

“Doctor ‘was too busy moaning about Blair to notice woman’s fatal illness’” – Surely the headline of the year?

“The supersize wine glasses ‘that lure you into addiction’” – The new 175ml glass (instead of the old 125ml standard) is a bad things, says Nick Gully, of the Priory Clinic

“Shoppers who hate the sight of meat. Children who think ham comes from cows – and vegetarians who treat turkeys like people. How squeamishness and sentimentality are destroying the way Britain eats” – We’re too busy eating crisps and sweets

“As research show it’s not just women whose fertility fails with age…Sorry chaps, YOUR clock is ticking too!” – Did anyone tell Des O’Connor?

“The truth about that FAMOUS five – We’re told we must eat five portions of fruit and veg a day. But what DOES it means?” – Er… Can you repeat the question?

“I knew giving birth would be painful but I didn’t expect to be left in a wheelchair” – One woman’s story of birth

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THURSDAY

“Pension reforms ‘to leave poor worse off’” – So says Opposition MPs

“TRULY HAIR-RAISING! – Polyester or plucked from the heads of Russian girls, extensions are the new must-have for women who want to look like the stars. But as Jennifer Aniston says they nearly ruined her locks, we ask just how safe are they”

“It was a dad’s final wish – a ‘green’ funeral in a cardboard coffin…until it all started going horribly wrong” – Going green meant burying dad with dead pets

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FRIDAY

“Ambulance on safely visit kills boy of two at nursery”



Posted: 11th, June 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink