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Anorak | After The Ball

After The Ball

by | 3rd, July 2006

THE World Cup is a party to which we are all invited and that includes Britain’s paedophiles.

On Saturday night they will have headed to south-west London to join the revelries of our ex-pat Portuguese community and then headed home to sleep soundly in their beds for the first time since June 2004.

That’s because they know that once every two years England will crash out of a football tournament, and for a brief period they will be knocked off their spot as public enemy number one. The only question this year was who would replace them: Rooney or Sven? We turn to the Sun to discover Rebekah’s name-and-shame selection. And the winner is…. Neither!

Sven’s apologetic press conference, and his plea not to slaughter Rooney seems to have paid off, because the man who can no longer safely set foot on Britain’s tolerant soil is not English at all he’s Cristiano Ronaldo, aka the “slippery Portuguese winker”.

Ronaldo’s crime was to wind up his Manchester United team-mate before the match, point out to the ref that Rooney had committed a foul, and allegedly suggest a card, and then wink and pout provocatively afterwards. Rooney is understandably furious, and, having failed to get into the Portuguese dressing room after the match, has now threatened to ‘split him in two’.

The Sun provides a Ronaldo dartboard, with the slippery one’s winking eye as the bull. Underneath is Bully from Bullseye, holding up the World Cup with the words “…and here’s what you could have won”. Clearly no room for the words “with a decent team and manager”.

Once we turn to the back pages, Sven and Rooney have to take their fair share of stick. “GOODBYE TOSSER,” says the Sun of the Swede who “tossed away” our cash, our talent and our world Cup dreams. “Sven stuffed his pockets, and then he stuffed us all,” declares Ian Wright, whose World Cup Super Goals section is adorned with the flag of St George, the

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Posted: 3rd, July 2006 | In: Back pages Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink