Good Enough To Eat

“DO I think of myself as sex symbol? No. But ask me if I like dirty dancing in the bedroom, yes.”

The words of Keira Knightly, actress, model and wearer of gold foil dresses; words that seem to have been conjured up specifically for a tabloid audience. Do people beyond the pages of tabloid papers use euphemistic phrases like “dirty dancing”?

While we investigate that, the Star gives its readers the headline “KEIRA TWICE KNIGHTLY”. But the Mirror says that Keira’s love life has been “Sunk by Pirates”.

This is a play on words on Keira’s new movie Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest and a comment on how she and boyfriend Rupert Friend don’t get to see much of each other.

So much for that dirty dancing twice a night. Perhaps Keira dances on her own? Or with someone else?

“It must have been a hard job kissing Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom [Keira’s co-stars in the movie]. I’m sure she hated every minute of it!” says Rupert forlornly.

Well, a woman has her needs. And Keira is keen to tell Star readers that she loves wearing “raunchy outfits” and “I love a bit of saucy stuff now and again”.

Which leads us to that dress, the gold halter neck bacofoil number Keira wore to the London premiere of her new movie. Not since Keira wore a dress to the Oscars has her outfit caused so much sensation.

The Sun has a shot of the garment and delivers the headline: “Anorexia runs in the family…but I have not got it.”

Keira says both her grandmother and great-grandmother suffered from the eating disorder but she does not. “I don’t have it,” says she. “I am very sure of that.”

The Star is naturally slender. And, as we observed yesterday, wearing a gold metal dress in the searing heat can be an aid to weight loss. As can dancing – the dirtier the better…

Posted: 5th, July 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink