Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes At ‘War’ Over Suri

WHEN the war comes, whose side will you be on? As the Enquirer’s headline says: “TOM AND KATIE AT WAR OVER BABY!”

Tom Cruise wants baby Suri to attend a Church of Scientology naming ceremony. Katie Holmes prefers it that Suri is baptised a Catholic. And now the couple are at “war”.

So which side will you be on?

Granted, you could opt out of the battle, citing your worship of Kabbalah, Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt or California’s religion du jour.

Or suggest that Tom and Katie do the sensible thing and just create the new religion of Suriism, a third way that takes in the best bits of Scientology (big planes, celebrities, cash) and blends it with Catholicism’s notable highlights (absolution of sin, guilty sex and the Popemobile).

But neither Tom nor Katie are listening. War is war. And the time for talking is long past.

But before the first shots are fired, we receive breaking news from the frontline. A source tells us: “After going round and round with Katie, Tom finally agreed Suri can have a traditional Catholic baptism.”

Tom conceded? He has turned the other cheek? Well, not quite. This is a compromise. Before Katie gets Suri spritzed in a Catholic church in hr native Toledo, Tom will host a big do at Scientology’s Hollywood Celebrity Centre.

Suri will be twice baptised. Hallelujah! And Hallelujah! again.

Posted: 16th, July 2006 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink