Hacked Off

“GOSH! LOOK AT POSH.” We read the Mirror’s front-page headline and follow the instructions. We look at Her Poshness.

There are more “AMAZING” pictures inside. So we move within the paper.

But we can find no sign of her. It is only by reading another headline (“SHORT BECKHAM SIDES”) that we realise the woman with the tatty hair on page 3 is Vicky.

But even then we are unsure. So the Mirror, in the finest traditions of photojournalism, produces shots of Vicky from “THE FRONT” and “THE SIDE”.

And the conclusion is that it must be her. But why has her hair been butchered?

The story is that she was “talked into” having her hair cut by photographer Thiemo Sander. And, in any case, she was bored with her hair extensions and seeing so many people “inspired” by her.

But might there by another reason? Not too long ago, the Mail showed us a shot of what appeared to be bald patch on Vicky’s crown. Even fashion leaders like Vicky would be hard pressed to make tonsures fashionable.

And then there is the Star’s front-page news. “MY SEX TEXTS WITH BECKS,” it says. And readers learn that “busty Love Island babe” Emma Ryan says Vicky’s husband David was “gagging for it”.

“Glamour girl” Emma says: “He wanted to see me naked and couldn’t wait to play a game of strip Scrabble.”

Though we admire Becks’ abilities with a ball, chances are a game of strip Scrabble will see him naked long before Emma has even removed her mittens.

But the suggestion is that he soon saw it all. Emma says she and Becks shared a “love affair”. The Star says that Becks is said to have sent her “filthy text messages” and “treated her like a princess”.

Might this story be the catalyst for Posh’s new look, a frenzied hack with pair of shears. And might Emma be soon sporting a similar hairstyle to Posh?

Posted: 2nd, August 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink