Fur From Home

“AFTER the hottest July on record it’s autumn in August.”

The Mirror has proof to back up its headline news. And here it comes in the shape of dog walker Phil Compton now.

The Mirror does not tell its readers the name of Phil’s dog, but they can see that Phil is wearing walking boots, jeans and a green anorak reassuringly zipped up from waist to neck.

The message is that Phil is trussed up to keep out the autumnal winds as he strolls along a country lane. But might there be another reason for the outfit?

The Mail’s headline offers a clue. There are “Invaders in the wild”. “Foreign pests laying waste to our countryside.”

The Mail says the Environment Agency has drawn up a list of Most Wanted Foreign Species. Anyone seeing one of the organisms on the list should catch it and kill it.

Look out for the American signal crayfish (”Signal crayfish can climb and walk considerable distances,” says the Environment Agency’s website), the Japanese knotweed, the floating pennywort and the giant hogweed.

And take special care to spot the American mink. It and all the others must be stamped out. And to do that you need big boots. And, if your aim is true, they can soon be fur lined to keep out the chilly air…

Posted: 4th, August 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink