Anorak

Anorak | Breasting The Tape

Breasting The Tape

by | 5th, August 2006

"BIG BRO £1.5M BETTING SCAM,” thunders the front page of the Star. “Punters pour cash on Mikey in 2hr frenzy.”

The result of this action is that the largely inactive Mikey Dalton is now odds-on to be given the boot tomorrow night.

We learn that just yesterday Mikey was a generous 6-1 to get the chop. The clear favourite was Snoozie, coming in at odds of 1-8.

At they time of writing, the other two nominees for eviction are Imogen (16-1) and Gyny (50-1).

It looks like a straight race to the sliding metal doors between Mikey and Snoozie.

Who will win? While Mikey has the greater rage in his long legs, inflatable Snoozie could expect to breast the tape with ease. Indeed, if Snoozie could extend her breasts to just shy of 100 meters (we don’t want the race to be over before it begins) she could yet be the fastest thing on two legs.

But our money is on Mikey. In 11 weeks of TV, Mikey has managed to make no impression on us at all. . Mikey is painfully dull, and speaks in the hectoring tones of a 1950s shop steward.

Send him on his way.

Or get a few mates together and stick your money on Gyny. She’s 50-1!


Ins & Outs

Goodbye Snoozie. Goodbye Mikey. One never spoke and one never

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Posted: 5th, August 2006 | In: Celebrities Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink